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Submitted on
November 13, 2012


5 (who?)

Differences... a new battle?

Tue Nov 13, 2012, 3:16 PM
Yes, I'm no longer: 'Goddess-ofthe-Night'

The site will close down before the end of this year and be renamed.
I've learned that even when you are nicknamed as a 'Goddess'
People look different at you. I want to use the name I use as 'online' avatar: 'Sahtori Kamaya'

When I'm in Florida my RL name will change too.
I wont be a 'Coenen' anymore but I'll cary the name of my father and I'm changing: 'Karine' as well.

So my mother wont be able to find me anywhere on this world...

This is what I want...

I hope you understand.

So expect a lot of changes.

I'm sorry I turned quiet. I'm thinking how in the world I'll be able to move.

Cause... *grins* I'm going to get kicked out by my mother, but I don't care...

I no longer feel the bond to keep on saying: 'Yes' and continues forgiveness...
I feel different... I feel I finally feel that knife she has put on my throat before birth...

and now, I pushed her away and I sense I'm running to all dirrections for her not to hunt me with that knife...

I have no money or anything anymore thanks to her 'robbing' need in Kusadasi... So, ... I need to figure out how I can earn money, besides a job, since I'm still in a program of Adante. Tomorrow I will tell them I need to be out of there asap. I finally will talk to my doctor.

I had to laugh someone said: 'You are really positive and strong.'

I had my first Brony meet last saterday but I had to return into my 'own' world (as they call it - but it's not what you think it is...)
I had to lay down and sleep, feel, see and heal. (I had a major cold)

It's amazing that social contacts in RL can really exhoust me to the moment that I pass out and need days to recover...

I wonder what's up with that?

Meeting and standing next to Gabriel Iglesias, a person I really look up to has made me really happy, especially when he signatured my skethbook for luck.

It's really amazing... Those small things in life can make me smile so much... It's really amazing.

I don't need fame, I don't need money, all I want is ... freedom...

But to get to the point I need to be, I need to think how I run away. Cause moving with Madoka (my ferret) and my belongins + health is not going to be 'cheap'

I supose in the end, it will be worth while, so is this my new battle?


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Ryu890 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
*hugs* I'm proud of you Sahtori. :)

Your journey is...inspiring. I admit, I haven't exactly been there the whole way through....

But I still wish you the best of luck.
gojira4life Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
*cries* Guess I won't be calling you Karine anymore... I'll be missing you when your gone sis. But I'm also very happy for your mental determination and your grand ambitions, it makes me proud to call you sis :D
Sahtori-Kamaya Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Lol, you can call me like that if you want ;)
gojira4life Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
*hugs* love you, sis!
PieMan24601 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
We understand karine. I'm so happy everything is starting to get better. =3
xXxtamdasexmonoxXx Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Student General Artist
alright. i like the name Karine.i wish yo the best of luck.
Nektarios-Cat Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Go for it. Why anybody would knock you down for 'Goddess,' I don't know. But I'm seriously looking foward to seeing the new you after all this. Good luck to you.
~Be Strong! :heart:
Marc-the-one Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
I wish you luck, and may good fortune come to you.
GuyaricanKitten Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Digital Artist
A new battle worth fighting, I'm sure. I wish you luck in your endeavor and the best possible outcome..
Art-iRenia Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I hope it all get's on the right path for you. :3
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