So, you read it right, end this month I'm moving back in with my mother. Most of you will be confused, yeah, I can't afford it anymore to live on my own. My medication list is high. Out of the good of my heart, after all I went through with her, I'm giving her ... I lost count, another chance. She after all had a surgery at her neck and has a 4rth plate now. Soon she needs another surgery at her neck for a 5 plate because her neck is collapsing.
So the only solution since she doesn't get help and rather wants money from the state cause her daughter helps her? Well, yeah, me, I'm not getting the money, folks just so you get that. I'm just going into a small, really small studio, where I have no privacy and I'm afraid, that it will turn again abusive, verbal mostly. The loser, the one who should hav made it.
I wouldn't be in this mess if I could provide my three month down payment for renting another place, but I'm not gonna point fingers here, most tried to help me and I'm grateful, I just don't like being ignored.
So, as I'm writhing this, I feel crushed, suicidal and so afraid. I don't know anymore what my future will hold, what it will be. Why I am even here. I told people the truth about my past, I worked and worked to financially help my family out.
I'm afraid, I'm fucking afraid. I walk past shops, see drugs, just one overdose, just one, ... but that's not the way.
I've been working the past month really hard, to gain my ticket and halfway the money for the doctor in the US.
But, now, this was unexpected. This, moving back to Myriam wasn't on my list. I had hoped that it would be the least thing that could happen. Gods I'm such a loser, 31 years old and moving back in with her mother.
It's all about money, always have been in this family, it's just, I'm not like them, I'm more like my dad. I want to explore and learn things, but the family 'Coenen' is a dangerous family. They chained me. I thought I was free, but after so many years of abuse, so many years of council, I still don't know what to do with my life.
So now, out of forced will, I'm tying myself up again. Such is life. Such is the way.
Eddie, my sisters husband is right, the family 'Coenen' is dangerous.
Well, end this month I'm back at Myriam, so you guys now, don't send presents or cards to my old address or rather send nothing, candy will be eaten by my family anyway.
What a loser have I become
Still for sale for another month before I retire this. So far only 3 are sold.www.lulu.com/shop/sahtori-kama…
New and forgets it every time (I can't keep up with you guys!)